It's hard to imagine...

that I could ever love another child as much as I do Landen. You know how new moms always talk about just lying next to their newborn, staring in amazement. I still do that. I love exploring the world with him and seeing things thru his eyes. Right now he is having the time of his life with a box. I look at him and still think he's so perfectly made. So smart, and funny. He makes me smile every daytt. I know it will happen again, and it amazes me, that I could feel twice this much love for two little ones.

Being pregnant the second time around is different. Before with more free time, I spent a lot of time learning about what was going on with my body, and what my baby was growing, and how big he was. I still check that once a week, but not every day, and every website :) I am so busy chasing a toddler around, I don't have time to hold my belly and think about the baby much (except while puking, then I think, yay, baby!) It will be fun and exciting to meet this baby and fall in love.

I am really excited about the homebirth. We are planning on doing a waterbirth, and I look forward to going to my midwife appointments, and getting to know her. I think that will make me so much more confident in my choice (tho, I am already really confident). I''ve read so much about births on the Farm in Ina May Gaskin's books, I'd love one their. They seem to perfect and safe, and in the middle of nature. It just wouldnt be covered by insurance then, and we'd have to be able to spend about a month there. Yeah right.

I am tired, Landen is fighting naptime, but he is really tired. Time to try again.