I can't begin to describe my feelings on this right now. As Landen approached 2, I decided I would wean him b/c I thought it would be hard nursing too, especially b/c he is so dependent on "Ayah" at night. When my pregnancy was high risk for that short time, I was told I had to do it right away, then it seemed, it wasn't as bad as they thought, and it wasn't such an emergency. My OB still says I should, but I think that is his feeling about nursing during pregnancy, rather than anything else. Then Landen got sick and sick and sick, and he just needed to breast. We tried one night to stop it, but he was so tired, and got so upset I couldn't do it. It broke our hearts.
So, here I sit, tonight, out in the car, as we make another attempt to wean him. I don't feel good about it. In fact, when I told him earlier, I cried. It's a special connection we have had for so long, and I do feel that its a need still in some ways. But I also feel that he needs to learn to put him self to sleep. Even if we are rocking him, for him to do it without the breast would be a good thing. I don't know what will happen to naptimes, I guess they will be out b/c I won't be able to nurse him!
Perhaps at night he will sleep better (he does sleep in his own bed) if he isn't waking for the breast out of habit? I think we have a long couple? of nights ahead of us, getting him to sleep properly.
I even thought to myself, I should have brought the monitor out, then I would know how he is doing, but that would torture me, hearing him cry for me, not being able to help him. He is EXHAUSTED b/c he didn't nap today, probably the second time ever. He was tugging and pulling on my nipples with his free hand as I tried to put him down, and I just couldn't dig it. LOL I asked him to stop, told him not to hurt Ayah, and then finally said, if you don't stop there will be no more ayah, ok? He said, uh huh, but continued. I made sure I told him several times, but I'm not sure he really understood.
Nursing two wouldn't be so bad really, I'm just worried about the nights, and the jealousy. If I have two boys waking at night for breast, I would never sleep. But if it comes down to that, its been done before, and, hey, I lose my fatty weight quicker right?
I am not sitting here changing my mind, giving in, I am just saying, if its to hard for him, I won't do it. I will try in 6 months or whatever. Or a year. But when I am in the hospital, or doing births this months, he is going to have to go to sleep somehow.
So just send me hugs. I should be writing a talk right now, that I got for tomorrow night last night. I am just to sad right now.
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3 comments:
(HUGS) You have to do what you have to do, but I can honestly say nursing two isn't that bad. I nursed A&C together for 21 months and have been nursing F&A for 2 months together so far. I did nightwean Ani before Cameron was born and Fritz nightweaned on his own before I even conceived Adrian. I have found in my own experience as well as talking to other tandem nursers that jealousy is actually reduced when they both nurse and they seem to have a greater ability to share as they get older. So, really, if you don't feel right about weaning him, don't. I'm a firm believer in the need toddlers have for nursing which is why I nursed both my older two until the were completely done at almost 3 1/2. BTW, both A&C spent nights and weekends away from me while they were still nursing. Ani actually went to FL with my parents for a full week when she was 2 3/4 and went right back to nursing when she came back.
*much hugs and love*
(((HUGS)))
Landen is so lucky to have you. I hope it goes well.
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